IV Reasons Why Halloween is a Set-Up Holiday

IV Reasons Why Halloween is a Set-Up Holiday

Pumpkins, candy, costumes, a reason to finally wear that hideous orange shirt you purchased, and all the ghoulish and garish phantasms you could ever want to pretend to be afraid of, what’s not to like about Halloween?

Well for starters, Halloween is most definitely a set-up holiday. What is a set-up holiday you ask? I’ll start by defining a set-up. A set-up is when someone purposely arranges something to mess with another person’s success. A set-up holiday is a holiday whose sole purpose is to screw over the people celebrating it. This is V Reasons Why Halloween is  Set-Up Holiday.

Reason 1. Candy is bad for you.

Candy is pure sugar. Sugar is a carbohydrate and our bodies turn carbohydrates into lipids. Do you know what lipids are? FAT! I don’t wanna be fat! But I want to eat candy. Now after running around the neighborhood for two hours collecting it in a pillowcase I’m going to go home and reverse all of my hard work in a matter of minutes and gobble down the candy that I have! This

Reason 2. It isn’t safe.

Halloween tells us to do exactly what adults have been telling us NOT to do our entire lives!  What do I mean? Let me list the ways:

-encourages kids to take candy from strangers

-encourages kids to wander around in the dark

-encourages kids to go up to strangers’ doors

-encourages kids to accept candy from strangers

-people can hide their faces

...shall I go on?

Reason 3. Costumes and decorations are expensive.

Spending an exorbitant amount of money on costumes. Last night my dad literally spent $40 on a suit I would wear maybe once in my entire life. Okay so as it is a Mr. Incredible suit I guess I might just wear it a couple times more just to feel beasty- but that’s besides the point.

Reason 4. Scaring

We literally spend our lives trying to prove that we’re not afraid of anything and then turn around and run through a haunted house just for the sake of being scared witless.

Five Reasons Why Hot Krispy Kreme Doughnuts are the Best.

V Reasons Why HOT Kripsy Kreme Doughnuts are the Best

Before moving to Blacklick, my current place of residence, a Krispy Kreme doughnut was just a simple treat that could be easily obtained from any gas station or, if daddy was in a special mood, a box from Kroger. Where I grew up, we never had an actual Krispy Kreme

store to go to, only Tim Hortons and Dunkin' Donuts and other doughnut shops so I never had the opportunity to go to an actual Krispy Kreme store. All that changed when we moved as there was a new shop under construction right down the street from my house. Upon its opening, we were told that free doughnuts would be given out when the "HOT-LIGHT" was on. That was the moment my life had been forever changed. Allow me to walk you through the process of eating a HOT Kripsy Kreme doughnut.

Reason 1.The smell.

The second you open the door you are immersed in a succulent wave of sweet doughiness. The smell is so rich that you can practically take a full-flavor bite straight out of the air. It's so satisfying that they could sell the scent as candles, air fresheners, and perfumes, and make just as much profit as they do off the doughnuts themselves. I promise the smell is that good. If you don't believe me, feel free to go yourself and bask in the heavenly scent of it all. 

Reason 2. They are the perfect balance of sugary and savory.

You can taste the sheer deliciousness of the doughnut before you even close your mouth entirely. The sugar basically radiates off the doughnut and straight onto your tongue. The sugar dip from the doughnut stands apart from other doughnuts as the sugar isn't too potent that you will get diabetes, but it's the perfect amount that you can enjoy the sweetness of it in every bite. The dough itself tastes the way the Kroger Bread Factory smells: like the best baked good in the world! The sugar dip and the dough complement each other as well as chips and dip.

Reason 3. They have the optimal ratio of crispiness to chewiness.

As the doughnut employee hands you your doughnut, gently wrapped in a sheet of wax paper, you can feel, with your hands, the firm, but delicate, softness of the warm doughnut. It's not overly soft to the point where it's under-cooked, but it's also not stiff and over-baked: It's the perfect doughnut every time. When you pinch the doughnut you can see the layers of fluff meld into one another.

Reason 4. They melt in your mouth.

As you close your mouth, the sugar glaze dissipates like a snowflake on the tip of your tongue and then your teeth sink into the crispy/chewy sweet/savory dough. The HOTness of the doughnut makes the dough and sugar literally melt in your mouth; it feels like a solid doughnut is turning into liquid in your mouth. Your mouth starts watering and your eyes close and within three bites you've eaten the entire thing and paid for three more to go.

Reason 5. They're free.

The doughnuts were already delicious individually, but when you add in the factor that they cost you absolutely nothing (except your mom's gas money) it takes them to a separate level of greatness. Personally, I feel more places should give out free things, not because they could hold a candle to the greatness of a HOT Krispy Kreme Doughnut, but because it makes you feel happy and when you feel happy, life seems better. In the words of Sam Cooke, "The best things in life, they're free." And I can assure you, in the words of Shayanna Hinkle-Moore, "Few free things, in life, are better than a HOT Krispy Kreme doughnut." 

Photo Credits:
-http://time.com/money/4656894/krispy-kreme-free-doughnut-donut-new-coffee/
-http://potomaclocal.com/2015/12/15/krispy-kreme-doughnuts-coming-manassas/
-http://metro.co.uk/2017/03/30/krispy-kreme-is-changing-its-name-here-in-the-uk-to-stop-people-misspelling-it-6542537/
-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UmDVtKqKEs
-https://www.notonthehighstreet.com/wallart/product/the-best-things-in-life-are-free-wall-sticker